Whether we’re sitting at a stoplight, standing in line at the grocery store or hanging out at a child’s {insert endless list of possibilities here} activity, we all do our fair share of waiting on any given day. I, for one, have spent literal hours of my life waiting in school pick-up lines, at soccer fields, and in the back parking lot of the high school as the band finished up practice.
I’ll call this “easy waiting” and actually, most of the time, I really enjoy it. When I know I’ll be waiting at a practice, I always bring a book or plan to listen to a podcast or audiobook. When the weather is nice, I get out of the car and go for a long walk by myself or with a friend. Or, if I need to catch up on some things, I turn on my hotspot and get some work done.
This type of waiting often makes me feel gratitude – offering my thanks to God for healthy kids who love sports and music, for having time to be outside in the fresh air, for having some quiet time to myself or with a friend, for getting to do work that I love.
But there’s another type of waiting that’s much more difficult to endure. Waiting on a diagnosis. Waiting to find a job. Waiting to buy or sell a house. Waiting to find your future spouse. Waiting on a baby. Waiting for forgiveness. Waiting for healing.
This type of waiting – the agonizing, gut-wrenching, excruciating type of waiting – is when we go to God and start asking some questions:
“Why is this happening?”
“Why can’t I find my person?”
“What do I do now?”
“How long is this going to take?”
“Where are you, God?”
Sometimes those questions are answered quickly, and we can move on without worry or concern. But other times, we may end up waiting weeks, months, or even years for results and answers and resolutions. When the waiting goes on…and on and on… it can seem like God doesn’t hear us. Or that God has abandoned us.
I know what that feels like. Several years ago, I went through a very intense period of waiting where I felt like nothing would ever change and things would never get better. I felt like God would never answer my constant prayers for healing.
But, He did.
God saw me, He heard me, and He answered my prayers in ways I never would have expected…but it took a very long time.
Through those long years of waiting I learned some valuable lessons, and I’d like to offer a few of them to you with the hope that you may find them useful as well.
1. Learn to be quiet.
For years, I met with a Spiritual Director who guided me and encouraged me in so many ways, including learning to be quiet. At the beginning of each of our meetings, we would have a time of silence. It could be as short or as long as I wanted it to be, but we always started with quiet. Admittedly, it was pretty awkward at first, but over time, I started to look forward to it and incorporate it into my daily rhythms at home. I sat on my front porch and looked at the sky. I sat in the glow of the fireplace early in the morning. I got very intentional about my time. I took deep breaths. I set aside time to rest.
This process was life-giving and gave me the strength to keep waiting when I felt like everything was falling apart. I learned to be still in God’s presence and trust Him with my life. And as I learned to trust God, I also learned to trust myself. I heard God speak to me through the silence, reminding me of all the good that was still around me, despite the challenges I was facing.
“I wait for the Lord, my whole being waits, and in his word I put my hope. I wait for the Lord more than watchmen wait for the morning, more than watchmen wait for the morning.” (Psalm 130:5-6)
2. Become an active participant.
When we wait on God, we don’t have to be idle. I realize that sounds like it’s in direct contrast to being quiet, but I assure you, these two things work hand in hand. Over the years, I spent a lot of time doing research, reading books, going to counseling, seeking out people who were dealing with the same issues, listening to podcasts, and joining support groups. I considered every angle, every viewpoint, every opinion, every new idea. I tried everything once…and then I tried it all again.
And since I had learned to be quiet, I was able to use that to listen for God in my searching. God spoke to me through the books and articles I read and the people I talked to. God showed me how to sift through things, clear out the clutter and the noise and find the path He had for me. And He can do that for you, too.
2 Timothy 1:7 reminds us that “the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline.” Becoming an active participant in the waiting helped me to find and lean into the process of healing. God met me in my search and helped me stay faithful and disciplined.
3. Find the good.
Even in the midst of difficult circumstances, God is still good. The end of Psalm 130 that I referenced above says this: “Israel, put your hope in the Lord, for with the Lord is unfailing love and with him is full redemption.”
God loves us and He never leaves us alone. The evidence of His Presence in our lives is all around us, and I promise you will see it if you take the time to stop and look. Keeping a gratitude journal helped me keep track of all the things I was noticing and served as a constant reminder to say thank you to God, even on the most difficult days.
Paul offers us good advice when he says, “Summing it all up, friends, I’d say you’ll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. Put into practice what you learned from me, what you heard and saw and realized. Do that, and God, who makes everything work together, will work you into his most excellent harmonies.” (Philippians 4:8-9)
At some point in all of our lives, we are going to have to wait. Maybe for a week, maybe for a month, maybe for many years. Remember that we can trust God, knowing that He sees us, He loves us, and He is always working things together for our good. All in His good time.
