Yeremi Agosto serves faithfully as a musician and worship leader at the Powhatan Campus. He has recently taken a step further into ministry by interning at PCC. As part of his internship, Yeremi meets regularly with Pastor Beth Stoddard, who serves as a Spiritual Director. Her goal is to help those she meets with deepen their relationship with God and more clearly discern His invitation for their spiritual journey. In response to a recent meeting with Beth, Yeremi shared the following reflection:
For some time, I’ve struggled with the idea that God’s love was something I had to earn. I thought, “If I serve enough, pray enough, then maybe I’ll be loved by God.” But when I didn’t serve or didn’t pray enough, I felt distant, unworthy, worthless—like I let Him down. Even now, I sometimes wrestle with the thought that I’m not fully accepted. But I’m learning to return to the truth: I am loved by Him, and I am His child.
Pain has a way of shaking our confidence in God’s love. After experiencing deep grief and loss, I found it extremely difficult to accept that God loved me and was pleased with me. I knew it in my head, but I couldn’t feel it in my heart. It was like there was this huge gap between understanding God’s love and actually experiencing it.
When I wasn’t sure who I was—whether I even mattered to God, whether He saw me or cared—it was easy to feel invisible. I started thinking things like:
“I’m not good enough.”
“I always mess up.”
“No one needs me or cares about me.”
“I’m just worthless and alone.”
I couldn’t believe God had a special plan for me. Instead, I felt stuck—like I was completely unimportant. I started to see myself the wrong way, which led to some really hopeless feelings. I even wore emotional masks because I didn’t want anyone to see how unsure or “not enough” I really felt inside.
One question from my meeting with Beth really hit me:
“Where do you look for your sense of identity?”
If I’m honest, sometimes I reduce my identity to something I think others will approve of. The way I act, the way I speak—sometimes it’s all about gaining affirmation. When people affirmed me, I felt validated. But when they didn’t, I questioned my worth.
But I’m learning something crucial:
People’s opinions may describe me, but they do not define me.
Since I’ve started my internship, something small but powerful has been happening inside me. I’m starting to truly believe—not just in my mind, but deep in my heart—that I am loved by God. It’s slowly becoming the main truth I live by each day. I don’t have to prove anything to Him. I don’t have to be perfect. I don’t have to do anything at all to be acceptable to Him.
Jesus came to make this truth known:
You are already loved.
He didn’t come to burden us with more expectations—He came to lift them off.
He came to say:
“You don’t have to work for God’s love. You already have it.”
“You exist because you are loved.”
“You are a child of divine love.”
He came to show us that we are children of divine love, and He gave everything to make sure we would never forget it.
Now, I’m beginning to understand that each of us is part of God’s ongoing, beautiful work. He sees everything we go through and holds a unique, eternal purpose for each of our lives.
Another question Beth asked me was:
“Where do you tend to find your sense of identity?”
That’s a simple answer for me—I find my sense of identity in being a musician.
Not long after that meeting ended, it was time for our weekly rehearsal at the Powhatan Campus. I would have never guessed that God was about to use that space—and use me—to remind myself of something I had almost forgotten:
That before I even spoke a word, He was already singing over me.
That before I took my first breath, He had already breathed His life into me.
That when I was His foe, His love still fought for me.
That when I felt worthless, He paid it all for me.
He’s the One who lights up shadows, climbs mountains, kicks down walls, and breaks through every lie—just to reach me.
He’s the One who chases me down, fights until I’m found, and leaves the ninety-nine.
And even though I didn’t deserve it or earn it, He still gave Himself away for me.
Because of His overwhelming, never-ending, reckless love.
And how could I not thank God?
He picked me up.
Turned me around.
Set my feet on solid ground.
He’s the One whose name is above all names.
The only One worthy of His name.
Not just good, but an unstoppable God—who fought for me and chased me down with His overwhelming, never-ending, reckless love.
So why not speak His name over every fear?
Over every storm?
Wherever there’s darkness or feelings of worthlessness—I will speak Jesus.
So today, I Choose to believe in Him.
To believe that He has a plan for my life.
I Choose to believe that He will do anything just to reach me.
Because before He made me, He already knew me.
Before I was born, He had already chosen me for something special.
And He gave me a purpose in this life.
“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you,
before you were born I set you apart;
I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.”
—Jeremiah 1:5
